How to Stay Connected When Life Transitions Change Everything.
Life is a series of transitions. Some are expected, like children graduating and leaving home. Others arrive without warning, like the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or a health diagnosis. Whether you see them coming or not, these shifts have one thing in common: they change your relationships.
I’ve seen it in my own life and in the lives of my clients. A transition doesn’t just affect you, it affects the entire web of connections around you. Your romantic partnership, your friendships, your family dynamics, even your relationship with yourself.
The good news? There are ways to navigate these changes so that they strengthen rather than strain your connections.
1. Recognize that transitions magnify what’s already there
If your partnership is strong, a big life change can bring you closer. If there are cracks, those cracks can widen quickly under the stress of change. The same goes for friendships. This is why it’s so important to invest in your relationships before a transition hits. Think of it like putting money in the bank before a big expense—you want a cushion.
2. Build frustration tolerance
Frustration tolerance is the ability to handle life when it’s not going your way. People may disappoint you. Plans may shift at the last minute. Old wounds may resurface. Instead of immediately reacting, learn to pause, breathe, and respond with intention. Allow emotions to flow through you like wave. This skill will keep you from making decisions or saying things in the heat of the moment that you’ll regret later.
3. Practice flexibility
Flexibility is what allows you to pivot when life doesn’t match the picture in your head. Maybe your retirement looks different than you expected. Maybe your adult children live far away. Maybe your career path shifts suddenly. Flexibility helps you adapt and still find joy, even if the details are different than you imagined.
4. Stay connected during the shift
Even if you’re busy or overwhelmed, resist the urge to isolate. Change can make you feel unmoored, but connection is an anchor. This could mean date nights with your partner, regular check-ins with a friend, or joining a group where you feel understood.
5. Remember: the work starts now
The biggest mistake I see is waiting until a transition happens to tend to your relationships. The empty nest stage, a career change, or a move is not the time to start from scratch. If you start building and maintaining those connections now, you’ll have the support you need when life inevitably changes. Make sure you start having the hard conversations that create authentic connection now.
Here are two free resources to help you do exactly that:
How to Bring Up a Difficult Topic
And if you’re looking for more stories and strategies for this stage of life, check out my Substack, The Vim Life.