How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love By Colette Jane Fehr, LMFT, LMHC

Coming February 3, 2026 | Penguin Random House

The Cost of Quiet

As a Couples Therapist, I’ve spent over a decade sitting with people who feel disconnected, unfulfilled, or on the verge of losing their relationship.

Here’s what I know for sure: it’s not what’s not being said that pushes couples apart. It’s the silence, the avoidance, the fear of rocking the boat. Over time, that silence builds walls—even between people who love each other. And before we know it, we’re feeling lonely, resentful, or misunderstood — sometimes in the same room as the person we love most.

The Cost of Quiet is the book I wrote for anyone who’s ever struggled to speak up in their relationship.

It’s a guide to breaking the cycle of conflict avoidance and learning to say what matters most with clarity, confidence, and vulnerability.

Inside, I share the tools I use every day with clients — grounded in attachment science and evidence-based therapy — and stories from my own life and practice. My hope is that this book helps you feel less alone, more empowered, and more connected to yourself and your partner.

In The Cost of Quiet, you’ll learn how to:

  • Recognize the patterns of avoidant behavior (and where they really come from)

  • Start hard conversations without shutting down or blowing up

  • Heal past hurts through secure, honest communication

  • Build a relationship where your voice matters, and where love feels safe and mutual

Whether you’re looking to deepen your connection, repair a bond that’s frayed, or simply feel more at home in your own skin, this book is for you.

A Little About Me

I’ve always known I wanted to write. My namesake, the French author Colette, lived boldly and unapologetically; two qualities I aspire to embody in my own life and work.

Writing this book has been a labor of love — one rooted in my lived experience, my clinical practice, and my belief that speaking up is one of the bravest things we can do in love.

If you’re craving more depth, more honesty, more intimacy in your relationship, I hope The Cost of Quiet becomes a trusted companion.

Sign up below to be the first to know when the book is available — and to take the first step toward deeper, more secure connection.